Plan for the Curing:
George MacDonald and Modern Child-Training Methods
"If the wise woman
had but pinched her, she would have shown herself an abject little
coward.... Nothing such, however, was the wise woman's plan for
the curing of her." --"The Wise Woman,"
--The Gifts of the Child Christ, Volume I, p. 235.
George MacDonald's story
"The Wise Woman" which he also called "The Lost Princess
- A Double Story," was one of C. S. Lewis's favorites. In this
story MacDonald, successful father of thirteen (two of them adopted),
clearly anticipated the child-training rules that would be developed
and taught by behavioral scientists a century later.
"Each year thousands
of parents seek professional advice on how to handle problems with
their children." So began the book Living with Children: New
Methods for Parents and Teachers (by Gerald Patterson and M. Elizabeth
Gullion, 1972). The authors of this book and others like them seek
to show parents how to encourage desirable behavior in their children
and gradually eliminate undesirable behavior. Their method is based
on the "social learning" approach. The rules are simple,
but few people follow them.
In MacDonald's story
a distraught king and queen sought professional advice about their
terrible daughter. Not from a behavioral scientist in an air-conditioned
office, but from a famous witch who lived in the heart of a forest.
She was not an evil witch, but a strange, good, wild, and wise woman.
The princess was lost
indeed when the wise woman came to the rescue. In fact, this woman
came to two families whose girls had both become unbearable, and
in both cases she soon perceived that the parents would not cooperate
in the cure she envisioned. In both cases she snatched the girl
up in her large black cloak and carried her off before anyone suspected
what had happened. In today's terms, it was clearly a case of illegal
deprogramming.
Both girls were only
children born to doting parents - one in a palace and the other
in a distant shepherd's hut. Both were taught from infancy by everyone
they met that they were "Somebodies." They were awash
in parental affection, but they were both totally selfish and unloving.
Their parents wanted them to be happy, but for some reason they
were both rather miserable; and so was everyone who had to be around
them. As the wise woman put it to the frustrated parents, "You
are sufficiently punished by the work of your own hands. Instead
of making your daughter obey you, you left her to be a slave to
herself; you coaxed when you ought to have compelled; you praised
when you ought to have been silent; you fondled when you ought to
hove punished; you threatened when you ought to have inflicted -
and there she stands, the full-grown result of your foolishness.
She is your crime and your punishment."
According to today's
behavior modification experts, futile coaxing, inappropriate praise
and fondling, and empty threats actually reinforce undesirable behaviors.
As Gerald Patterson says in Families: Applications of Learning to
Family Life (1971), "It isn't too much love that spoils a child;
it is being reinforced for the wrong behaviors." Permissive
parents like to let a child's natural impulses unfold freely. But
according to John Krumboltz in Changing Chlldren's Behavior (1972),
there is a deceptive appeal in the idea that children should be
allowed to do whatever they want whenever they want. If the adult
withdraws from the child's environment, the child is not then automatically
"free." When parents decrease their influence, other forces
increase theirs. The wise woman knew the only thing that could save
the princess from her hatefulness was that she should be made to
mind somebody else than her own miserable Somebody.
Krumboltz meets head-on
the question "Isn't it harmful to a child's happiness to frustrate
her by not letting her do as she wishes?" He claims that the
goal of keeping a child happy will keep her from being happy. In
contrast, he quotes the current folk-authority Dear Abby: "If
you raise your children to be dependable, industrious, honest and
considerate of others, they will make themselves happy."
We are taught now that
the first five or six years of a child's life are the most formative.
Some parents feel that if they fail during those years, all is lost;
but behavior modification experts disagree. Learning continues throughout
life, they say, and their principles apply throughout life. Past
events predict present behavior, but present behavior changes for
better or for worse. Krumboltz says "What shall we do now?
What kind of environment can we arrange for the child now that will
encourage desirable behavior and diminish undesireable behavior?
We can take action that will make a difference."
The two girls the wise
woman undertook to help were well past five or six. Significantly,
she never scolded or spanked either one. Instead, she provided an
effective new learning environment immediately. The princess was
grasped under a cloak and borne away against her will. Later in
the journey when Princess Rosamond rammed her head into the woman
to hurt her, the woman did not raise her hand or her voice; the
cloak could be hard as brass at such times, and Rosamond bruised
her head on it. Natural consequences like that punished her repeatedly
during her curing.
When Rosamond became
so angry that she refused to travel on, the woman never said a word
or looked around. Instead, she left Rosamond behind four different
times on that journey. After the fourth time Rosamond made her first
weak effort to follow the kind womon's advice. What happened after
that is far too much to describe here; MacDonald's ideas for new
learning environments were literally fantastic.
There are four alternative
prlnciples that Krumboltz offers for stopping inappropriate behavior,
and the wise woman used all four during her course of treatment.
- Satiation principle:
Allow the child to continue (or insist that she continue) performing
the undesired act until she tires of It.
- Extinction principle:
Arrange conditions so that the child receives no rewards following
the undesired act.
- Incompatible alternative
principle: Reward an alternative action that cannot be performed
at the same time as the undesired act.
- Negative reinforcement
principle: Arrange an unpleasant situation which the child can
terminate Immediately by improving her behavior. According to
Patterson, the most powerful reinforcers for a child or an adult
are social reinforcers: the close attention of another person,
a touch, words of approval, a smile, a glance, or a kiss. In some
cases the yelling of "Shut up" serves as an unintentional
reinforcer. When all social reinforcers and other reinforcers
are removed for a time, that is called Time Out.
Time Out is an ingenious
replacement for spankings, a most effective means of producing rapid
decreases in the occurrence of problem behaviors; if a parent uses
Time Out consistently, the effect is usually noticeable in three
or four days. Time Out means removing the child from the situation
where all of the reinforcers for inappropriate behavior are located;
"she is placed In a new situation where there are few, if any."
Patterson reports that five minutes alone in the bathroom is the
best form of Time Out for a child in most families. (He tells why
and discusses both medicine cabinets and fiooding.)
The wise woman apparently
had no bathroom in her home in the forest, but she used several
kinds of Time Out. By far the most severe was placing the shepherdess
girl Agnes into a spherical blue isolation chamber, magic and invisible,
where she was left alone with her obnoxious self for five days.
(At night, while Agnes was asleep, she lay in the loving woman's
arms all night long and drank her wonderful milk without knowing
it.) The treatment worked, but it was only the beginning of retraining
for Agnes. As the wise woman told her kindly after rewarding her
for her first good behavior, "Agnes, you must not imagine that
you are cured...." Other key ideas of Patterson that the wise
woman exemplified a century earlier are:
Begin where the child
is.
Reinforce desired behavior
immediately and often.
To be consistent, set
up a program including a specific goal, specific steps, small steps.
Be sure the child is
reinforced from the very beginning.
Be specific.
Make use of natural
consequences that occur every day.
Do not nag or scold.
Wait for the prosoclal behavior to come and then reinforce it.
The wise woman, being
perfect, could do all of this without lapsing into outbursts, forgetting
her goals, or having to fight her own bad habits. Krumboltz assures
ordinary mortals that they are to be congratulated if they are putting
behavior modification principles to use at all, that children are
resilient enough to tolerate some parental failings, and that there
are practical ways to gain selfcontrol and improve skill in this
art.
Behavior modification
principles are so effective that they even help to train autistic
children. Like any other art, this one con be used for good or evil
ends. If the wlse woman had been an evil witch she could have used
the same methods to turn the two girls into evil witches. Behavioral
scientists tell adults how they can change children's behavior,
not what behavior they ought to change.
Fortunately, few adults
would purposely teach their children wicked or sick behavior; but
great are the numbers who do it accidentally. When George MacDonald
was writing the story of the lost princess he may hove been thinking
of his monarch, Queen Victoria, and the heartache that her own beloved
young son was turning out to be. Her childrearing techniques were
extremely defective, and his character turned out to be defective.
It was the inner person, not outer pleasantness, that MacDonald
was really concerned about. He said of the conceited shepherdess,
"if she were not made humble, her growing would be a mass of
distorted shapes all huddled together; so that, although the body
she now showed might grow up straight and wellshaped and comely
to behold, the new body that was growing inside of it, and would
come out of It when she died, would be ugly, and crooked...."
The wise woman summed
up her rules of behavior for Rosamond by saying, "It just comes
to this, that you must not do what is wrong, however much you are
inclined to do it, and you must do what is right, however much you
are disinclined to do it." The purpose was to get rid of her
weary shadowy self and to find her strong, true self.
When Rosamond's behavior
had been well modified, she asked the wise woman if she could forgive
her for all the trouble she had caused. "If I had not forgiven
you, I would never have taken the trouble to punish you. If I had
not loved you, do you think I would have carried you away in my
cloak?"
"How could you
love such an ugly, illtempered, rude, hateful little wretch?"
"I saw, through
it all, what you were going to be," said the wise woman, kissing
her. "But remember you have yet only begun to be what I saw."
Rosamond is sent home and given the job of serving her blind parents
(now doubly blind) as the wise woman has served her, and bringing
them to the wise woman eventually. As Patterson says, "Children
change their parents, just as the parents contribute to the changes
in their children."
George MacDonald never
intended this 79-page fantasy to be a tract on childtralning, and
a prophetic one at that. But he knew very well that it was a mysterious,
powerful story with at least two meanings. Although it is usually
called "The Wise Woman," he also called it "The Lost
Princess-A Double Story." Here is the way he ended it:
"And that is all
my double story. How double it is, if you are to know, you must
find out. If you think it is not finished - I never knew a story
that was. I could tell you a great deal more concerning them all,
but I have already told more than is good for those who read but
with their foreheads, and enough for those whom it has made look
a little solemn, and sigh as they close the book."
One can read the story
with one's forehead to glean MacDonald's insights about child training,
and that is good. But he has been known to use a great feminine
figure as his symbol for God, and he has been known to state that
every child on earth is both the child of a king and the child of
a shepherd.
MacDonald's double story
is about everyone, because he believed that everyone is part of
God's ultimate plan for the curing.
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